Gingy: You're a loser.
You gave up after five minutes.
Ben: I think I sprained something.
Gingy: -Oh, right.
Are you gonna call and
wish her a happy birthday?
Ben: No, I'm not.
Gingy: Ben.
Ben: What?
Gingy: Be nice.
Ben :I am being nice.
We're moving on.People don't call their
exes when they're moving on.
That's counterproductive.What's she doing for it, anyway?
Gingy: Oh just.. it's.. you know what?
I think it's a small,
intimate dinner. Super low-key.
Ben:- Hmm.
Gingy: No biggie.
Ben: Nice.
Is her boyfriend treating everyone?
Gingy: Darren's not her boyfriend.
And for your information,
he's not gonna be there.
Ben: Oh.
Gingy: So are you gonna be okay tonight?
Yeah?
Ben:Yeah, of course.
Gingy: Okay.
Ben: I'm a rock.
* birthday sex *
* birthday sex... *
Rachel: Oh my god! What are you doing?
Darren:Oh, sorry, rach.
I didn't mean to wake you up.
Happy birthday, by the way.
Rachel:Of course you didn't.
Darren: Is it too early to set
this birthday off?
Rachel:Oh, set it off.
Cheers.Mmm. Thank you.
Uh-oh. Here we go.
Daddy-o.
Hi, dad.Aw, thank you.
I got the card.
It was so cute with the singing
And the...
I...okay. Well, you know what?
I'm... it's probably better
If I call you at the office...
When I get there.
Okay, I love you too.
All right.
Ta-ta.
Darren: Bye, dad!
Rachel: You... you're a freak.
Darren: Well, you gotta get
freaky on your birthday.
Rachel: Really?
Darren: I'm totally bummed I'm
missing your dinner tonight.
Darren: It sucks.
Rachel: Oh my god, don't even...
Don't... please don't.
Because birthdays aren't
even important to me.
They're not. I'm serious.
Why are you looking
at me like that?
Darren:'cause they're important to me.
* birthday sex... *
Rachel: That... darren!
You're so--
Ben: My man.
Kapplan: Well,look who's calling me
Bright and early in the morning,
My ex-friend Ben Epstein.
I didn't know you creative types
Got up before lunch.
Ben:Only when I'm trying
to make a buck.
Kapplan:Yeah, god bless america, baby.
Ben:All right. So tonight
is the night, kapo.We're gonna roll to avenue.
Get ready to go big.
Kapplan: Are you fucking with me?
Ben: No,I am not fucking with you.
Kapplan: N... no, you wanna roll tonight...
for reals?
Ben: I do.
Kapplan: Awww, shit.
Ben: So I take it you're available?
Kapplan: I'm ready, I'm willing,
I'm able.What time do you want to hook up?
You want to grab a steak first?
What are you gonna wear?
Ben:I'll call you later,
we'll figure it out, okay?
Kapplan: Yeah, you bet.
Don't flake on me.
Ben : Never.
Edie: There she is,
the special birthday girl.
Rachel: Edie, don't start.
Edie:Where are we going tonight?
Rachel:Okay...nowhere. I'm skipping
my birthday this year.No getting older.
Much better that way.
Edie: Too late. I already made
three different reservations
And invited all your friends.
All you have to do is pick a place and show up.
It's my treat.
Rachel: I don't wanna
Edie: pick it!
Rachel: Okay, um, if I had
to make a choice,I would say mexican.
Edie: Odelay! I can't
wait to meet darren.
Rachel: Um, unfortunately for you,
He is on a plane to ndon.
Edie:Well, that sucks.
Rachel:Yeah, it's fine.
Edie:Uh-oh.Is there trouble
in hotelier-land?
Rachel:No, it's just-- you know,
It's a weird birthday for me.
The last few birthdays
I've had with ben.
And then walking from darren's
apartment this morning,
It kinda hit me.
Edie:Birthdays are always tricky, honey.
Reflecting back on where
you were a year ago,
Looking ahead to the year to come.
You're getting closer to the
age you'll be when you die.
Rachel:Jesus, edie.
Andre: And, uh, you've tended
bar before, right?
Cam: Of course, andre.
Andre: So you know
how to make all the drinks?
Cam: No doubt, especially the new
ones like the thug passion.
Domingo: Thug passion.
Andre: Yeah, but you're not gonna
be pouring a lot of those.At the find-a-cure benefit tonight.
Cam and Domingo: Oh.
Andre: You know how
to make a manhattan?
Cam: Yeah.
Andre:How?
Cam:Pfft! Is he seriously
grilling me right now?
Domingo: No, he's just doing
his background check.
But look, trust me.
This kid is "legite" with a capital "t."
Andre:Well, look. This company's awesome.
They do all the big events.
They do the met ball,They do a ton of
fashion week parties.
With the shift pay plus tips,
It's a nice chunk of change,So you can't fuck this up for me.
Cam:Never, bro. Never.
Andre:All right. You need to shave.
And you need a black tie.
Domingo:Right.
Cam:Black tie? Not a problem.
Andre: I wanted to work this one myself,
But we booked a gig in philly, so...
Domingo:Oh man, I love philly, man.
Cool city.
Andre:I'm from philly. It's miserable.
Anyway, and this is very important,
You have to sign in under my name...
Andre vipolis.
Domingo: Vipo...vipolis.
Cam:Vipolis. Yes.
Andre:It's $500 cash at the
end of the night.
So you gotta make sure you bring
me my $50 right here tomorrow.
Cam:Done deal, my dude.
Bourbon, sweet vermouth and bitters.
Andre:That's a manhattan!
Rachel:So what we can do is we can put up
These sliding room dividers.
They keep in the light.
They're adjustable by hand.
Client: Well, I... I just want to
give them a sense of privacy.
Rachel: Right...
Client:anything to separate them.
They're at that age where
they need it.
Rachel: Right.
Edie:Does your big brother
keep you up at night.
Talking to all his girlfriends?
Boy: are you kidding? This kid
masturbates like a maniac.
Our mom had to cancel
our internet...
Client: Sam!That is inappropriate!
Boys, stop it! I'm sorry.
I'm really...
Boys, cut it out!
Rachel: oh my god.
I'm just gonna take this.
Boy: Stop that!
Rachel:- Hello?
Ben: Hey. Happy...
Rachel How are y... oh...
Ben: happ... happy...
Happy birthday.
Rachel:Thanks.
Ben:Am I violating some
sort of moving-on code?
Rachel:No, not at all. Not at all. Yeah.
Ben:Good birthday so far?
Rachel:Yeah. Nothing too crazy.
You know, st-- what about you?
Are you at work or...
Ben: yeah.
Calling you from my corner office.
Rachel: right.
God, I can't believe
it's my birthday again.
Ben: Just like that... another year down,
huh?
Rachel: I know, another year.
Um, so, ben, what are you...
Do you have plans...
do you have plans tonight?
Ben: Sort of.
Rachel: Oh, okay.
'cause I was just gonna
say I'm having a little uh, dinner party thing
If... if you wanna stop by.
Ben: Oh.Uh...okay. Yeah, I mean,
there's no pressure obviously.
Rachel: It's just, it would
be nice to see you On my birthday.
Ben:You know what?
That-- that would be nice.
I'll definitely stop by.
Rachel: Uh, ben, can you-
can you hold on just a minute?
Ben:Sure.
Rachel :Okay, thanks.
hi.
Darren:Hey.
Rachel:Aren't you supposed to be halfway
across the atlantic right now?
Darren:My flight has been delayed.
They're saying five hours at least.
Rachel:Oh.Okay.Humm... That sucks
Darren:I think I might be
better off just hopping.
The first flight out tomorrow.
Rachel:Oh, really?
Darren:Which means...
I can make dinner
tonight after all.
Rachel:Great.Um, darren, I'm-
I'm at work right now.
Let me, um... let me call
you back in a second, okay?
Darren: Yeah. Sure thing.
Rachel: Okay.Ben.
Ben: Hey.
Rachel:So, um... sorry,
what were you saying?
Ben:Nothing, I was just saying I-
I'll try to stop by.
Rachel: Right.
Ben: Um... where's it at?
Rachel:It's at 10:00 at la esquina.
Um, and just so you know, I... um...
Darren's gonna be there.
so if that's gonna be too weird--
Ben: What? No, that's... rach,
that's totally cool.
Rachel:Cool. Great.
Ben:I will see you later.
Rachel: Okay.
Ben: Yeah. Bye.
fuck.
Rachel: I... I'm so fucked.
I just went from having
no guys at my birthday.
To having two.
Edie: How?
Rachel: I... darren's flight
got delayed 30 seconds
After I invited Ben.
Edie: Fun!
Rachel: Nightmare. Having to
deal with this is ectly
What I did not want
for my birthday.
Edie:Honey, it's gonna be fine.
I am gonna get you so
high before dinner,
You're not gonna be
able to tell them apart.
Cam: Excuse me, young man. Can you
tell me if you carry crisp nyc...
The hottest denim
brand on the planet?
Ben: Really? Both of you now?
Cam:I came solo. I found domingo
In the women's
undergarments.
Domingo: Aha!Your boy is lying.
He actually needs a black tie.
He's got a formal
engagement tonight.
Ben:Tonight? You didn't get my text?
We're taking kaplan to ave tonight.
Cam:I can't.
I just booked a
next-level bartending gig.
$500 cash off the books plus tips.
Domingo: Kwam.
Ben:500 bucks?
Cam:And trust me when I tell
you I need it right now.
Ben:Well, what about you,
Do'? Can you roll?
Domingo:No go. I got dinner
uptown with my auntie.
Her turkey meatloaf
is the bee's knees.
Ben:Turkey meatloaf
I get it. I get it, man.
- Cam: You okay?
Ben: Yeah.I'm good.
Hey, listen, I gotta refold that.
Domingo:I'm sorry. I'm a bad friend.
Cam: What's wrong with you?
Ben: Nothing.I just thought it'd be fun,
us rolling out tonight, that's all.
Domingo:Wow. Is ben suggesting
we actually go out?
Ben: Whatever, man. I'll just call kap.
I'll reschedule.
It's no big deal.
Cam:So, can you
hook it up with a black tie or what?
I'll bring it back tomorrow
with the tag still on.
Ben: Follow me.
Cam: My man!
Coming through in a clutch!
Domingo:Hey yo, what's your
discount like on the tuxedo?
I got this whole like black
bond thing I'm working on.
Ben: Hey, dave.
Kapplan: Benny netanyahu!
What is going on, dude?
Are we on for dinner pre-ave?
Ben:Yeah, listen. I was
thinking about tonight, um...
Kapplan: I've been thinking about
tonight all day, bro.
You're not flaking on me, are ya?
Ben:Hell, no.
Kapplan: Good. Where you want to meet up?
Ben:Yeah. Yeah, let's keep it easy.
We'll just say in front of
avenue at 11:00, all right?
Domingo: What could be better
than this right now?
You know what I'm saying?
Like cafe con leche in hand,
Money in my pocket.
Life is good, my friend.
Cam: No doubt, man.
Once I start getting busy,
crazy mogul hours...
Hmm. -...I'm gonna miss
these times with you, man.
Domingo : Well, you've had a
good run there, boss.
Gingy: Sorry I'm late.
Domingo and cam: Yo!
Gingy: I just met with the most
incredible performance artist.
I think I want to
produce her next show.
She works for leftover rotting food.
Cam: What?
Domingo: Your latte's probably cold.
Gingy: Whatever. Did you
do some shopping, cam?
Cam: Bought myself a free tie.
Check it out.
Gingy: Did you see Ben up there?
Domingo: Mmm. That man hooked it up.
Gingy: How did he seem?
Cam: Like Ben
Half stressed, half homie.
Why?
Gingy: I think he's having a hard time
With Rachel's birthday today.
Cam: Today's Rachel's birthday?
Gingy: Yeah, she's having this
small dinner tonight
And he seemed kind of funky
about it this morning.
Cam: Her birthday dinner's tonight.
Oh, shit.
Cam: You know how to make a screwdriver?
A guy: Hell yeah, it's,
uh-- vodka and orange juice.
Cam: And you know how to
make a Manhattan, right?
The guy: Yeah, it's,
um-- how do you call it?
Cam: Just ask the guy next to you.
The guy: Yeah, I could do that.
Cam: Oh , and when you get there,
make sure you sign in as Andre Vipolis.
Domingo: V-I-p-o-l-I-s.
Cam: And it's $500, so it's $400 for you
And $100 for me, cool?
The guy: Cool.
Cam: Oh, and another $25 for
the black tie rental.
The guy: Word up.
Domingo: And the bag.
The guy: Okay.
Cool, man.
Cam: All right.
Dom .
Domingo: Peace out, man.
The guy: Yeah, peace.
Cam: Yo, Ben. It's me, yo.
Call me when you get this, man.
The job fell through, so I'm good
to go for tonight.
Let's go to avenue, baby!
All right? Peace.
Domingo: Peace.
* it's your birthday *
* so I know you want to ride out *
* even if we only go to my house *
* sip on weezy as we
sit upon my couch *
* feels good, but I know
you want to cry out *
* you say you want passion *
* I think you found it *
* get ready for action *
* don't be astounded *
* we switching positions *
* you feel surrounded *
* tell me where you
want your gift, girl *
girl, you know I-I-I *
* girl, you know I-I-I *
* been feenin',
wake up in the late night *
* been dreamin' about your lovin' *
* girl, you know I-I-I *
* girl, you know I-I-I *
* don't need candles and cake *
* just need your body to make *
* birthday sex *
* birthday sex. *
Rachel: So are you excited to meet my girls?
Darren: Yeah yeah , I am.
Yeah. I think so.
You got any tips for me?
Rachel: Edie is her own brand of crazy,
But she's… she's an
amazing woman.Truly.
And she's so excited to meet you.
Darren: Oh, that's nice.
- Yeah.
Rachel: Who else is gonna be there?
Rachel: Um…actually, I wanted to,
Uh, let you know that
Ben wanted to stop by.
Darren: Oh. Okay.
Is he actually gonna come
inside the restaurant
Or is he just gonna
scream from the window?
Rachel: stop.
Darren: Sorry.
Rachel: That's bad.
Darren: No, I'm sorry. Okay.
It's fine with me.
Of course. It's cool.
Rachel: Darren, Darren , Darren,
you are… it's like nothing fazes you.
Darren: Snakes. Snakes.
Cam: Yes, man. We're already here.
Hurry up then. Peace.
- Do's on his way.
Ben: Good.
I'm definitely ready for a drink.
Or 12.
Cam: What's up with you?
Ben: Nothing. Did I tell you it's
Rachel's birthday today?
Cam: Nah! Damn, she's aging fast.
Ben: Yeah. She invited me to
her dinner tonight.
Cam: Really? And you didn't want to go?
Ben: Well, I would've, but...
Her new dude's gonna be there and
I'm not about to look desperate
In front of the entire party,
you know?
Cam: So you turned her down.
Look at you.
Ben: Well, no. Not exactly.
'cause then I would look
premeditated and insecure.
So my only option is
just to flake completely
And then make up a story tomorrow.
Cam: Like what?
Ben: Stomach flu.
That's going around.
Cam: Yeah.
Yo, is that Kappo right there?
Kapplan: Yo! There they are.
Cam: Yo!
Kapplan: What's up, my boys?
How am I looking? You like that?
Ben: Oh, you are looking--
Kapplan: I'm looking all right?
Ben: Yeah. Yeah, man.
You're very, uh-- "nylon guys."
Kapplan: For real?
Ben: Yeah.
Kapplan: That's good, right?
Ben: It's great, come on.
Kapplan: Let's do this!
Cam: Excuse me, can I get in here?
Dez, what's good?
Ben: What's up, man?
Dez: Been busy, man.
- Ben: Yeah.
Kapplan: What's up, dude?
Dez: Hold up, wait a minute.
Dude's with you?
Cam: Yeah, he's good.
He's Ben's homie.
Ben: Yeah yeah, he's with us.
Dez: You know I always got you guys,
But it's not gonna happen
for your man tonight.
He's a no-go.
Kapplan: What?
Cam: Wait wait, yo, dez.
Ben: Really, dez? Come on.
Dez: Not gonna happen for him.
Cam:He's a cool dude once you get to know him.
Look at that face, man.
Come on, man.
Dez: It's not
gonna happen tonight.
Too many dudes.
Man: Yo.
Kapplan: Really? Wow.
Ben… hey, Ben…
Ben: I'm so sorry…
Kappla: you promised me
that this was not gonna happen.
I can't believe you're gonna
fuckin' do this to me, man.
Wow. You're fucking with me?
That's really really hilarious.
Ben: A little bit.
Kapplan: You're both assholes.
Come on, let me in, man.
Ben: You looked like you were about to cry.
Kapplan: I wasn't gonna cry,
But I'm going in!
This is it?
This sucks.
Ben: It's still early, David. Relax.
Kapplan: Oh. I like that.
Mmm . Man, watch this, watch this.
Uh, hi! Hi!
I'm sorry. Excuse me, excuse me.
I was… I was just wondering
What… what's your favorite charity?
The girl: Charity?
Kapplan: Yeah. I know you
models like all that charity stuff.
And I just thought maybe
you could recommend one
I could give some money to.
It's just-- I got too
much for one guy.
The girl: My favorite charity is, uh,
Losers from Wall street who think that
anyone still cares about their money.
Kapplan: Oh! Now, was that nice?
Excuse me! Is that nice?
Edie: You know who he reminds me of?
That guy Jake from "sixteen candles."
Right?
Rachel: Really?
Edie: Yeah. You don't think so?
They're like twins.
You know… you know the
one I'm talking about…
Jocky but sweet, you know?
Rachel: Yeah, I…I see it.
Mm-hmm.
Cam: Hey, guys! Guys! To Kappo!
Kapplan: Uh-oh.
Cam: One of many nights…
Kapplan: For real. Many nights , boys.
Ben: There we go.
Kapplan: Salud. Salud.
Ah!I'm lapping you ladies.
Step your game up.
Cam: Yo! Yo, pace yourself, Kappo.
Kapplan: This is me taking it slow.
Ben: Kappo, we'll do it.
Cam: You got it! Boom! I love it!
Yo, what are you guys doing?
Kapplan: we doing?
Sharing a drink called loneliness.
Right, Ben?
Ben: I'm here for you, Dave.
Cam: That's stupid. I'm already tipsy.
You tipsy?
Kapplan: Whoa whoa whoa.
Dude, that's a fake
Gwyneth Paltrow,
But I like it.
I'm gonna slip her a roofie.
Domingo: Yo, are you fucking serious?
Cam: No!
Domingo: Dude…
Kapplan: no, I am not…
I'm not serious.
Damn, guys! What you think of me?
It's breath mints. Relax.
- Take a breath.
Ben: Let me get one.
Kapplan: Yeah, you need one.
Don't take advantage of me now!
Domingo: David man, that's hard…
Kapplan: I know who you are.
I know who you are.
Yo, innkeeper!
Another round of drinks
For my boys right here!
Rachel: No… oh my god.
Edie: Does everybody have wine left?
Rachel: I have beer.
Edie: Because I just want to say a few
words about the birthday girl.
Everybody: Awww.
Edie: When Rachel walked into
my office three years ago
Looking for a job,
I remember thinking
"who is this gorgeous hippy
Not wearing a bra to an interview?"
Don't worry, they looked very nice.
Rachel: Oh, thank you Great.
Edie: But seriously, honestly,
In the three years since then,
We've grown very close.
Now I like to tease her
that I am the president
Of the Rachel Chapman fan club.
Rachel: I love you, Edie.
Edie: So I thought, as president,
It might be nice to hear from
a new member of the club.
Darren...Take it away!
Rachel: Darren, you don't have to--
Darren: No, I...You're putting me
on the spot, Edie.
Edie: Let's see what you got, Darren.
Darren: Um…okay. All right, well,
I guess there is one thing
I could share.
Um, you know, it's more
of a confession actually.
See, I'm not here tonight
Because my flight was delayed.
I'm here tonight
because I switched it
In order to be here with
you on your birthday.
Everybody: Awww!
Darren: Even though I know
you hate birthdays
And it's not a big deal to you,
But I just thought it would be nice
If we could be together on it.
Rachel: Oh my god.
Edie: Put a ring on it!
Hear hear!
Darren: Okay, I'm fucking with you.
Actually, my flight was delayed.
All: Come on! What?
Darren: Well, I'm sorry!
But I guess…
All: boo!
Darren: All right, look, look.
Wait, wait, wait.
Things happen for a reason
and I'm glad that they do.
So here's to things
happening for a reason.
All: Awww.
- Woman: Cheers.
* niggas is all the same *
* brooklyn niggas get crazy loot *
* that's because when it's beef *
* they ain't scared to shoot *
* harlem niggas know how to play...
Ben: I gotta say,
Kaplan kinda rules.
Cam: Your man is hilarious!
Kappo!
* if it wasn't for the bronx *
* this rap shit probably
never would be going on *
* so tell me where you from *
* uptown, baby, uptown, baby *
* we gets down, baby,
up for the crown, baby... *
Kapplan: Hey.
Look, if you ask nicely,
I might forgive you
For that little comment earlier.
There's nothing nice about me.
Come on, don't hate
me 'cause I'm rich.
I won't hate you 'cause
you're beautiful.
We could roll together, hmm?
Hmm? We could be the
most-hated couple up in here.
Hmm?
The girl: You're funny.
Kapplan: Oh… oh, see that? See?
You're warming up to
me a little bit, right?
Edie: Darren!
Darren: Sorry. Too late, Edie.
You snooze, you lose.
Edie: No! I'm supposed to be
the sugar mama tonight.
Darren: Yeah, well, it looks like
I might be making a run.
At that Rachel fan
club presidency, so…
Edie: Ooh! Look at the
hotelier going for it!
Darren: I'm trying, Edie. I'm trying.
Thanks.
Rachel: Aww.
Darren, thank you so much.
That was really really
sweet of you to do.
I'm happy you're here.
Darren: Me too.
Ben: coffee here.
Pack of Wrigley's. You know what, let me get
this bag of cheez doodles.
Darren: So nice to meet you.
Edie: Happy birthday, baby.
Bye-bye. Thank you… all right,
I'll talk to you later.
Edie: Thank you.
Rachel: Bye, edie.
Edie: Bye.
Darren: Bye. She's great.
Rachel:I know.
Darren: Yeah, she's totally great.
Rachel: She is great.
Ben: Hey, so sorry I'm late.
Darren.
Darren: Hey, Ben.
Ben: Good to see you again.
Darren: Uh, well, I guess I'll
just give you two a minute.
Okay.
Ben: Thanks.
Didn't want to show
up empty-handed.
Rachel: That is amazing.
Ben: So how was dinner?
Rachel: You know, lots… lots of garlic.
Ben: Garlic? - Wouldn't
bring a date there.
Rachel: Right. I'll try to remember that.
Ben: I just… I don't know, Rachel.
I just wanted to come and say
Happy birthday in person.
So…
Rachel: I'm glad that you did.
Ben: Yeah?
Rachel:- Yes.
Ben: Cool.
I should probably let you go.
Rachel: Yeah.
Ben: Happy birthday, Rach.
Rachel: Good night, Ben.
Ben: Good night.
Cam: You better not have chased that car!
I didn't want to run after you.
Ben: How'd you know?
Cam: 'cause I
could tell when you left, man.
Ben: I didn't even know where
I was going when I left.
Cam: Man, I know you better
than you know you.
Ben: Yeah, maybe you do.
Kappan: who wants to go to Vesaka?
It's gonna be blueberry blintzes.
Ben: No.
Fuck the blintzes.
Let's go back to avenue.
- Cam: Okay!
- Ben: Yeah.
Cam: Back it up! Let's do it!